… you take down the crib and you don’t even shed one single tear.
I don’t remember the day we took down Sugar Plum’s crib. It likely wasn’t a big deal to me because I knew (at least I hoped) we’d have more children.
When Bugaboo’s crib came down, Sweet Pea was down the hall in her own crib.
But yesterday, when I asked my husband to take down Sweet Pea’s crib because she hasn’t slept in it in months, preferring the big girl bed instead, I knew we were done.
Done with cribs and done with having babies.
For the last decade I have been pregnant or breastfeeding for more time than I have not. I have functioned on less sleep than insomniacs. I have changed more diapers than I care to recount and while we’re still not out of diapers yet in our house, Sweet Pea spent the better part of yesterday without one.
The truth is, Sweet Pea isn’t a baby any more. And while all three will forever be my babies, thanks to a little procedure that starts with a V and shall remain nameless, my baby making days are over.
That decade is over.
The crib is gone.
That part of our lives is officially over.
I don’t feel sad about it at all. Oh sure, some days I have a little baby fever – usually it comes when I’m holding someone else’s baby and the bounce and shhh’s you’ve perfected over the years come back without hesitation and you can’t help but breathe in that new baby smell.
That may never leave - that feeling you get when you hold a new baby tight.
But the crib is gone.
That stage in our lives is gone.
And I didn’t have one single moment of hesitation.
Because I am ready.
I am ready for the next phase of my mommy life.
I thought I might have a tear, a moment or something but I didn’t. I’m just happy to have more space upstairs so my big kids can play.
I may have blinked and now all of a sudden my kids aren’t babies anymore, but instead of shedding tears for what has gone I am going to look straight ahead and hold on for the ride of whatever comes next.
Wish me luck and if you know anyone who needs a crib let me know!