On this date, seven years ago, at 1:09 a.m. a nurse put a 7 lb 2 oz. baby girl in my arms and my entire world changed. I became a mother. I became Sugar Plum’s mother.
I was 24 years old and I had two thoughts that went through my mind simultaneously: “I love you so much I would die for you in half a second” and “who on earth would give me something so precious and so amazing since I have absolutely no idea what I am doing”.
At that moment when I kissed the top of her head and looked down at her big blue eyes that were so familiar I thought I was holding the most beautiful child in the world and that she would grow-up and do wonderful things.
Seven years later this couldn’t be more true.
I don’t know how it happened. I’ve made my share of parenting mistakes, but somehow Sugar Plum has become the child that is almost always polite, almost always plays nicely and fairly with others and almost never excludes anyone.
She is the child that thanked her daycare workers when they changed her diapers and the one that once told a playmate who had just a second ago promised she would never be Sugar Plum’s best friend “that’s okay you’re still mine”.
She is the child that moms always welcome over to play, the one the teachers always love and the one that never, ever, would think herself better than someone else. Daily I am amazed by the ease with which she makes friends, learns new things and adapts to new situations.
I look at Sugar Plum in awe and wonder what I did in a former life to deserve a child so amazing because honestly there is no other word to describe her. This may sound like bragging but if you knew her, you would know it’s not.
My dearest Sugar Plum. I tell you every day that you were my first-born baby. The first baby of my own that I got to hold and cuddle and love. Then I look at you deep in your blue eyes that are exactly like mine and say “and that makes you”… when I stop you say “special”.
I do the same thing with your brother (“you’re my only little boy and that makes you”) and your sister (“you’re my last little baby and that makes you”) and for the rest of my life I promise to do everything in my power to ensure you know that you are loved and safe and supported and special.
On your seventh birthday I think of the next seven years and I want to wrap my arms around you and protect you from the dangers that walk the streets and the boy next door who may break your heart.
I want you to play team sports so you make long-lasting friendships with girls because it’s your girlfriends who will get you through the hard times in life.
I wish for you to find something you love, have dreams and goals and know that I am always here to help you follow and achieve them.
But above all, I wish for you nothing but happiness.
From the day you were born whenever I saw the first star, blew out a birthday candle or even got the “wish chip” from the bag I wished for one thing that you, and now all three of my children, will know you are loved, will one day fall in love and will above all be happy.
I don’t wish for money or trips or the newest designer handbag because if I grow old knowing that you are happy and loved by someone you love I will have everything I could have ever hoped for.
Sugar Plum, when I watch you dance, read, swim, sing, sleep or play with your brother and sister I am overwhelmed with love for you. I will never lose this.
I promise to try to be the mother you deserve. There are days I will fail but there were never be days where I do anything short than adore you.
My heart beats for you, my life is lived for you and I am absolutely honoured to be your mother. There is no better title than your mom and no better life than the one where I get to call you my daughter.
Happy 7th Birthday Sugar Plum.
With much love always,