It wasn’t that long ago that I wrote EXACTLY Why I Don’t Post Pictures of My Kids Online and I still stand by it.
I still don’t post full-face pictures of my children online.
Yes – not even on my own personal Facebook account.
Lately, however, certain opportunities have presented themselves where this “rule” we have in an effort to protect our children may be holding one of them back.
Sugar Plum has been offered an opportunity to dance in a music video. It’s a video that is appropriate for nine year olds and is dedicated to supporting girls in sport. It’s a message I support whole-heartedly but it is also a message and a video that will be posted online.
The release form asks for full permission to use my daughter’s image, her name and the city in which we live.
Every other time I have said no.
But this time – for the first time – it feels like I am denying her an opportunity. At some point, if she continues to grow as a dancer and as a performer this “rule” we have to protect her will effectively hold her back.
Full Stop.
The question is no longer “if” it is simply “when”.
When will it become impossible to continue to support our daughter without giving her the opportunity to build her own online presence – her own brand?
I had planned on standing by our “rule” for the eternity of my own online presence – believing that giving up blogging opportunities and press trips because I wouldn’t release my children’s names and images was the right thing to do for our family (remember my husband was a police officer for over a decade). I never thought to consider my children’s own online presence or the opportunities our “rule” would force them to give up – only because they were so young when I started blogging.
So I am having deep thoughts about this “rule” and the risks and the norm I have governed myself by since the first time I hit publish.
I don’t know what the answer is, but I know I need to come up with one.
I think you should sit down with your husband and discuss it and maybe come up with some guidelines. But ultimately, go with your gut
My gut is telling me she should have this opportunity. You’re right Sharon, I really should just go with that!
Part of parenting is being flexible with rules and evolving as our kids evolve and grow up. That is just a given.
But with that being said -why is it necessary for them to post her name, age, and city location? I don’t see how that is relevant to the cause. Even if they do her age and city, why do they need her name? Is someone going to watch the video and say “wow, little Sally is 9 and lives in Victoria BC and is a dancer, so I will have my 9 year old dance too!” and then later find out that Sally isn’t the kid’s real name so yank her kid from dance who will then plummet into a life of drugs and crime???
I mean I get sometimes real names are needed – but until she is a contestant on SYTYCD, maybe it’s OK to wait?
Don’t get me wrong – I wrestle with this too – my 9 year old was so proud over the years to have her name and picture published in our little local paper for various reasons (fundraiser, fair pic, etc. – we just seem to always be in right place at right time!). I weigh each opportunity and didn’t used to agree to school activities and such. But then she reached an age where we were having really good “safety talks” anyway, and at some point the bubble wrap has to start being peeled off by me before she tears through it on her own. But with that being said – I would think it pretty sad if any extra-curricular activity, when she is a child, would be decided upon a decision to have her personal details published or not!
I post pics of my daughter, but shut down Skype with the grandparents whenever she starts de-clothing (she’s two – it happens). Everyone has a line, but like Kande said that line evolves as kids grow. (I’ll never allow near-naked skype at any age though!)
My own line is Twitter – I let very few personal details go there, and I also prohibit the geo-tagging on Instagram and Facebook. But that’s this month – ask me again in a few years!