As I sit here in a cabin on vacation among the mountains and wilderness that is Palin-country I am reminded of how important it is to sit a moment and reflect that today is National Coming Out day. To recognize the day, I thought it would be appropriate to re-post this:
Originally posted May 11, 2012
North Carolina, President Obama and now the teenage daughter of Sarah Palin are all passing judgement on same sex marriage which makes for some interesting and sometimes heated discussion both on the blog-o-sphere and around the water cooler.
In speaking with a fellow co-worker literally at the water cooler (how very cliché, I know) about the recent same-sex marriage media hoopla she tells me “I don’t think the government or the church should have a say on who we choose to marry, but if it was my son I wouldn’t be happy about it.”
While I have never once questioned my support, right there, in that conversation I knew without doubt that I am pro same sex marriage for all of our children.
Why? Because there are no “buts” in my world.
In my world, where to the outside I am the epitome of the traditional definition of marriage (after all my husband and I even have the same last name!) there has never once been anything but full support for the definition of marriage to include same sex couples. I do not feel threatened as an individual and I certainly do not feel like the definition of my own very traditional marriage is threatened because a same sex couple wants the same rights, freedoms and titles that my husband and I are granted simply because we are a man and a woman.
When I speak to my children about their future I say things like “when you fall in love or when you get married” instead of “when you find a husband or a wife”. I am never gender specific. I don’t catch myself on purpose because I want to be inclusive, I simply and truly believe that my children (and yours) should be allowed to fall in love with whomever they choose. Their sex should never be a factor.
Of course there are so many ifs, ands or buts when it comes to who you want your children to marry but for me not a single one of them has to do with their gender.
Certainly I say things like “the boys are going to come around” when I look at my two beautiful daughters and the girls are going to love how sweet my Bugaboo is, but that is a fact. The boys will come and the girls will too but I will always leave it up to my daughters and my son to choose which ones to love.
When explaining “gay” and “same-sex marriage” to Sugar Plum who has been asking as of late, neither my husband nor I use terms like “some people” or “but” or anything less than there are individuals who think marriage should be allowed only when it’s a man and a woman and your daddy and I think that’s wrong.
And we do. We think that is very, very wrong.
I know in that deep down kind of way even when you check yourself by asking what if it was my children, that I support same sex marriage.
I know with every level of certainty possible that when my children bring home the person they want to marry that union will be judged solely on the character of the person they have chosen and the strength of their love.
In my world that is all that will ever matter.