North Carolina, President Obama and now the teenage daughter of Sarah Palin are all passing judgement on same sex marriage which makes for some interesting and sometimes heated discussion both on the blog-o-sphere and around the water cooler.
In speaking with a fellow co-worker literally at the water cooler (how very cliché, I know) about the recent same-sex marriage media hoopla she tells me “I don’t think the government or the church should have a say on who we choose to marry, but if it was my son I wouldn’t be happy about it.”
While I have never once questioned my support, right there, in that conversation I knew without doubt that I am pro same sex marriage for all of our children.
Why? Because there are no “buts” in my world.
In my world, where to the outside I am the epitome of the traditional definition of marriage (after all my husband and I even have the same last name!) there has never once been anything but full support for the definition of marriage to include same sex couples. I do not feel threatened as an individual and I certainly do not feel like the definition of my own very traditional marriage is threatened because a same sex couple wants the same rights, freedoms and titles that my husband and I are granted simply because we are a man and a woman.
When I speak to my children about their future I say things like “when you fall in love or when you get married” instead of “when you find a husband or a wife”. I am never gender specific. I don’t catch myself on purpose because I want to be inclusive, I simply and truly believe that my children (and yours) should be allowed to fall in love with whomever they choose. Their sex should never be a factor.
Of course there are so many ifs, ands or buts when it comes to who you want your children to marry but for me not a single one of them has to do with their gender.
Certainly I say things like “the boys are going to come around” when I look at my two beautiful daughters and the girls are going to love how sweet my Bugaboo is, but that is a fact. The boys will come and the girls will too but I will always leave it up to my daughters and my son to choose which ones to love.
When explaining “gay” and “same-sex marriage” to Sugar Plum who has been asking as of late, neither my husband nor I use terms like “some people” or “but” or anything less than there are individuals who think marriage should only be allowed only when it’s a man and a woman and your daddy and I think that’s wrong.
And we do. We think that is very, very wrong.
I know in that deep down kind of way even when you check yourself by asking what if it was my children, that I support same sex marriage.
I know with every level of certainty possible that when my children bring home the person they want to marry that union will be judged solely on the character of the person they have chosen and the strength of their love.
In my world that is all that will ever matter.
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photo credit: www.pinterest.com
Cheers to that…Very well said …
My only hope for my children is that they will find someone who will love them honestly and whole heartedly …Everyone deserves that in life…
Cheers
This is exactly my feeling, thank you for explaining it. There are no buts, I won’t forget that sentence.
We had to add a ‘BUT’ to our convo’s with the kids about who they can/not marry. We started with the ‘you can marry whoever you want,’ then added ‘… boy or girl,’ then added, ‘… BUT not your brother. Or your sister. Or me. Sorry.’ and then made sure we added, ‘… or not get married at all, it doesn’t matter, do what you want.’
I’m just so glad we live in a country where we didn’t even get a chance to make the choice on who is or is not allowed to get married. It shouldn’t be anyone’s choice except the couple getting married.
Oh Jill – I never even thought about THAT “but”! Sometimes the conversations we have with our children are seriously priceless!
I couldn’t have said it better. Who exactly says what defines love, defines marriage? Who gets the right to judge? The world is so hard already, and if you can find great love, just embrace it. As soon as my kids were old enough to know, I said, ‘I don’t care if you love a boy or a girl, as long as they love you back and you are good to each other.’ The response? ‘Moooom!!!!’ Some things will never change.
Well said. Love is love, and that’s all that matters.
And I’m very happy that Little Boo has friends with two mommies. He has never questioned it and I hope he never will.
I love my children. I really love my children. I mean I love, love, love my children. But I am also pro-anyone, of any gender, race, creed, religion or nationality who will find my child, love my child, treat my child with dignity and respect, and most importantly – ensure my child isn’t still residing in my home past the age of, say, 25!!!