Will this place ever feel like home?
I’ve never moved like this before. I’ve never found myself thousands of miles away from everything and everyone I have ever called home. It’s never been just my husband and me and the children. There was always someone to call, always someone to help and always someone to visit.
The place was familiar with faces and buildings and roads to destinations burned into memory so many years ago.
It was time to leave.
It was time to dare ourselves.
It was time to make changes.
I don’t regret any of it. In fact, I’m so proud of us for doing it.
For almost nine months I have lived away. I have lived on the flattest land I have ever seen under the most beautiful sky that continues to amaze me every day with a sun that never seems to stop shining.
I am happy. So very happy.
But this place still does not feel like home.
Not yet at least.
I keep waiting for the feeling of home to fill my heart but it doesn’t. Perhaps it’s too soon. Perhaps this place is just temporary.
And still… my heart is fuller than it has ever been.
It doesn’t long for what we left behind.
The people – yes.
The place – not at all.
But this weekend, for the first time since moving “away” I am going “home”.
Home for a celebration.
Home with family and friends and me for the first time in nine months.
I wonder how I will feel.
I wonder if it will feel like “home”.
But most of all I wonder if when I get back on the plane to go “away” again will it feel like I’m leaving home or heading towards it?